When I was a kid, I watched a dead body float right past my sister and cuz in the Atlantic City Ocean; in 2001, I stood two blocks away from the WTC as the second plane flew into the South Tower; OF COURSE I was going to be in Las Vegas at the onset of a pandemic to watch the casinos shut down for the first time in their history. But today isn’t a day for sad stories. Today I am going to tell you about the road trip that lead me through so many casinos and directly into the storm we re just now getting out of. Sort of. Soon. Probably. Ok enjoy! | |
| Prelude | |
| It was a cold January day in NEPA (northeastern PA for those of you who don’t pronounce the letter “H” as “HAECH”) and I had just found out a job I thought I was getting had fallen through. The guy offered me a different gig, and I said, “let me think about it.” It was a decent job. I didn’t have any money coming in and even if it was not what I wanted, it would float me to the next one. As I mulled it over, I looked up and saw a sun-drenched add for Las Vegas on the web site I was on but thought nothing of it. Then it happened. I took out the garbage. Normally garbage is a shit-event, but today it was snowing and icy and I was in my underwear, t-shirt and black socks from the night before because I am stupid. I slipped, fell and dumped garbage juice onto my legs. Both my balls and my legs felt gross, for differing reasons, and I was not thrilled. After I cleaned up and showered, I returned to my computer to see the LV add again. I wanted to be there, badly. I audibly said, “Fuck it. I’m driving to Las Vegas.” | |
| The Road Trip | |
| By the time I got my shit together, I had a bigger plan. Staying in a gambling town too long is dangerous for a gambler because, you just keep gambling. I redesigned the plan to see sites along the way and end up in LA instead of LV as my midpoint. I was ready. In a matter of two days I had figured out my initial path would lead me down the eastern seaboard: Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida in time for the Super Bowl weekend. Then I’d scoot west from there and pass through Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada before hitting Cali. At least that was the plan. Of course, everything went mega fucked up and the image on the right is how it really went down. |
